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01-05-2003 @ 8:11 p.m.
And a Happy 2003 to You

Whew--the holidays are officially over and out. Did that go as fast for everyone else as it did for me? I felt like December was moving at something akin to light speed. And I went from preparing for one big event to another. Sheesh! I simply can't believe it's over and yet I'm relieved, too. Our house is de-Christmassed and mostly put back together (I need to clean a spot from the area rug before I move the big chair back to its original place) and I'm itching to do some big time scrapbooking and sewing. I had to put all my gear away at Thanksgiving and I've sorely missed it even though I was so busy. I longed for an evening when I didn't have to go anywhere, plan anything, clean anything, buy anything, pack anything, cook anything or entertain anything so I could spread out my goodies and be creative. And now I shall.

Our trip to the mountains was delightful and de-lovely and entirely too brief. We were there 5 days and 5 nights. There were 15-16 of us and we all got along wonderfully. Cherri outdid herself with decorating the place to make it feel homey and Christmassy. The snow was fabulous and everyone got to do the fun winter stuff they wanted--tubing, snowboarding, cross country skiing, downhill skiing, snowmobiling, walking, whatever. The only thing I didn't get to do that I wanted was to take a sleigh ride but the morning we planned it, the weather didn't really cooperate with us. It was only about 15 degrees out that morning and it didn't seem like a time to be hanging around in an open sleigh.

Marcus and Stacey and Baylee will be moving to Bend in 6-9 months. I'm so beyond grief-stricken I don't know what to do or say. I hate him for deciding to just up and move the family away from me. How dare he? I know it's only 3 hours away but it could be the moon for all I care. All I know is that all the fun things I do around here are linked inextricably to Stacey and she won't be here anymore to do them. Bah. I hate them all.

Ed will be having to do support for the Europe people at his company so he'll be working 11pm to 8am for 4 or 5 weeks. That will be quite odd. I'm not sure how we're going to like that. I can see some advantages to it but I can also see some big disadvantages to it and mostly I see Ed not getting enough sleep because he has a hard time sleeping during the day. And I'll be sleeping alone again. He moved back into our room at Thanksgiving and we've been co-sleeping quite well. Both of us are used to it again and we're sleeping all night now (though it was rough in the beginning--I felt tremendously crowded as I like to spread out and flail when I sleep). Tonight I'll be making him "breakfast" at 10pm so he can go off to work. Joey's spending the night with a friend so I'm all alone. I've been alone since he went to bed at 6pm. Very strange.

I find myself being a bit discombobulated now that's it's January, a new year and everything. I don't have all these things pressing down on me so I'm finding myself sitting around a lot thinking "what am I supposed to be doing with myself?" I know when school starts next week and our routine is re-established I'll get back into the groove but it's a weird feeling right now. I know I just said I wanted to sew and scrapbook but at the same time, I don't want a big mess around either. Am I never happy?

I was looking over last year's goals and feel satisfied that I didn't totally bogue out on all of them. I feel like 2002 was a pretty successful year. I'm happy with the way things turned out, especially with my 36 lb. weight loss and Ed's 30 lb. weight loss. I still have about 50 to go (though if I wanted to be absolutely candid, I should probably lose more like 65 or 70 lbs. given my petite height of 5'2") but I feel quite confident that I will succeed with that, too. Perhaps by this time next year I'll be wearing my small jeans and talking about what a great year I've had.

Ed is preparing for a half-marathon in June or July. My BIL is going to run it, too. He is in much better shape than when he started preparing for the marathon he was going to run 3 or 4 years ago and was derailed by plantar fasciitis. And what am I preparing for? I need a physical goal besides weight loss. I need to think of some event or thing I want to work toward. I just need to think of the right thing to prepare for. It won't be running any race, though. I'm not a runner, never want to be a runner and do not have a runner's body with my flat, hypermobile feet and bad back. But there's got to be something else--some hike I want to go on, perhaps? Maybe the South Sister climb? I dunno. I'll think of something. Mt. St. Helens? I've been much more interested in seeing the top of her than the South Sister. I'll have to give it some thought.

For now, though, I think I'll go set up my scrapbooking table and get some pictures put together. I've wasted quite enough time being a couch potato today. Ack!

Later,

--L

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