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05-15-2002 @ 11:52 p.m.
Brownie Woes

I slept a long time this morning--I think I was making up for yesterday's deficit. It wasn't like the days when I wake up and think "I just don't want to get out of bed..." and then fall back to sleep. I slept soundly, once I fell back to sleep around 8:15 this morning. I sure needed it.

When I got up, I was very puffy. It's getting close to the start of my cycle so every grain of salt I eat seems to retain triple the amount of water molecules it would normally retain. Makes me so crazy! My fingers feel puffy--they almost hurt when I make a fist. Well, they did this morning. They're better now--I've been peeing a lot today. Hopefully that will help.

I talked at length with Christa today. We're all set for Friday at 7:30am for the induction. I'm going to have to get up at 6am to get there on time since I'll be fighting rush hour traffic and then I'm not sure entirely where to go. I mean, I know where the hospital is but I'm not sure where maternity is at this hospital and if there is more than one building to the hospital. Her husband talked with me, too, to see what I wanted him to do. He said he was very glad I was going to be there because he feels like he just doesn't know what to do or say or when to do it. But I think we've got a good plan of attack. That reminds me--I need to make sure to trim my fingernails so I can give her a comfortable massage without poking her. Ooh--I'm so excited!

I ran errands today--finished my May birthday shopping. Sheesh--I feel like I have a 100 birthdays to take care of in May--two BILs, a dear friend, her 4 children (well, they're birthdays are in April and June but traditionally I've been sending one box with all their gifts in May. Perhaps I ought to change that?), a niece and I can't remember who else. Two of the gifts need to be packaged up for mailing. I really ought to do that for tomorrow but I know I'm not going to have time to mail them. Well, I could in the afternoon at 3pm. We'll see what happens. I hate this!

While I was shopping at T@rget (one of my favorite stores), I picked up a few more summery things for Joey. They were really cheap--I love buying her summer clothes there because they are trendy, cute, cotton and very inexpensive. She can get a great summer wardrobe with very little money.

Joey was sad because she decided too late that she wanted to go on the Brownie overnight campout in June. I wasn't going to be going and she didn't think she'd want to go without me for 2 nights. Truth to tell, I wasn't ready for her to be gone from me for 3 days, either, especially since the 3rd day was Father's Day. Anyway, to assuage her sadness at being unable to go, one of the other mothers and I cooked up a plan to have our own Brownie campout for one night in our backyard with a few other girls in our big tent. We'll invite Nicole, Baylee (and Stacey), Ashley and Rachel and we'll cook out on the barbecue and roast marshmallows. Perhaps I'll get a chiminea (I've wanted one for a long time and they're only about $35-50 at the roadside Mexican pottery places around here) so we can have a "campfire" in the backyard. Ooh, I wonder if I can sleep in my hammock? We have a huge cabin tent that will hold it. Joey's very excited and so it the other girl we talked with. She didn't want to be away from her mom for 2 nights either.

Is there something wrong with me that I'm not comfortable letting my daughter who is 8 years old go camping without me for 3 days and 2 nights? I just didn't expect this so soon. I'm not overprotective, I don't think. But she's a little more emotionally fragile than many girls her age. I just didn't feel really comfortable with it. I guess maybe I am overprotective. So sue me.

Joey has informed me that she doesn't want to do Brownies again next year. She's had enough of it. I think she isn't crazy about the leader. Or maybe I'm just projecting my own feelings about the leader. (I may have mentioned that she drives me NUTZ!) Anyway, this leader is really gung ho--plans to follow this Girl Scout thing through forfreakingever and is really ambitious and has all these other things that the girls can do with the local troops that I don't have the time or inclination to do. I like Girl Scouts just fine but it is not my life. Going to 2 meetings a month was really all I wanted to do. I didn't want to have several Saturday group activities and Zoo Days and Basketball Days and whole weekend campouts and day camp and andandandand. I just wanted her to make friends, do some stuff and be done with it. There were some activities that she didn't want to go to but then she didn't get a Try-It badge for the activity she missed so she felt left out. More times than not, she has felt excluded rather than included as a part of Brownies--either when the leader commented about her being an only child and how that gives her a lot of time with her mom and dad (putting her on the spot and mentioning a touchy subject) or when she didn't get the same badges that everyone else got or when she didn't get to go to the swimming party for the girls who sold over 200 boxes (that was my fault but there was no way I was going to sell 200 boxes--I tapped out my resources selling our 106 boxes and I HATEDHATEDHATED delivering them afterward) or not deciding soon enough to register to go to the campout. It has been a headache. I'm sure that this is a fine organization but I'm tired of it and so it Joey. It certainly hasn't been the great thing I envisioned for her.

I'm not sure what activities Joey will be involved with next year. Piano for sure. That's a given. But what else? Swimming lessons from time to time. No soccer, though. That won't be a sport she repeats. I want her to be involved in something, though. After tennis camp, we'll see if she likes it well enough to pursue more tennis lessons. I'll take her to the tennis center in the next town over if she likes it well enough. Having such long arms and legs, that could be a good sport for her. I just want her to be involved in something--one other thing besides piano. She does have a church organization that meets twice a week with girls aged 8-11 where they do all kinds of fun and interesting things. I used to be one of the co-leaders but was recently released from that organization to work on the Activities committee again. Back to my forte! I guess we have some time to plan for it. We'll just worry about summer camps right now. She's enrolled in a tennis camp and French camp--just half day things--through the elementary school. That will be lots of fun.

I hope I can find a golf program for her. She really likes it--they've been playing in PE at school and she loves it. Her teacher even told her she was doing very well. She told me she likes golf because the ball never comes at you. Perhaps we've landed on our sport for her?

I guess that's all I have to say tonight. Except that I'm glad Will and Tara didn't win the Amazing Race. And I hope they were duly embarrassed when they watched themselves on TV. They were awful! Mean, spiteful, blame-laying, namecalling jerks. Both of them, but Will was the worst. I wanted ANYONE but them to win and it came down to a foot race. Whew! My heart was actually pounding at the end--how silly is that?



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