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11-18-2003 @ 2:03 p.m.

Well, after blowing up at Joey for a minor infraction and then screaming at my husband to "Back off" when he called me on it, I decided that it was time to go back on medication. I'd been hoping to stave off my seasonal depression by, oh, I don't know--eating lots of chocolate, playing, shopping and shopping and shopping, but damned if it didn't hit me anyway. I've been so bitchy for the last month or so, it's been like a month of really bad PMS. Sucks. So, I'm medicated again. I'm hoping that I'll be able to stay at just 10mg. We'll see if that's enough to head off a major depression.

Friday night we went to dinner at a favorite restaurant in a Portland suburb and while we were waiting, Stephen B@ldwin walked by. It was very strange to be sitting in Be@verton, Oregon and see one of the B@ldwin brothers walk by. He's in the area shooting an evangelical skateboarding movie at several of the skate parks around here. I thought he was done by now but I guess he's not. We, of course, had to be cool and act like it was no big deal. And I guess considering which brother it was, it really wasn't that big of a deal. ;-)

I've got the nephew today until 11ish tomorrow morning. I hope he lets me get some sleep tonight. The last time I had him all night, he only woke up once--at 2:30--so I'm going to hope for another night like that. He's sleeping right now. He fell asleep when I gave him a bottle about an hour ago and then when I moved him, he woke up. He played on the floor for awhile and then got very cranky because he was still so tired so I picked him up and he'd put his head down and almost fall asleep then he'd start crying and I'd calm him down again, and then he'd almost fall asleep... that went on for about 20-30 minutes until he finally fell all the way asleep. I held him for about 5 minutes after he fell asleep to make sure he was out and then moved him and he stayed asleep. Yay! That gave me a chance to get dressed. (Not that I'm complaining--I have no compunction against staying in my jammies until 2pm.)

We're leaving on Saturday for a week on the east coast--Virginia and South Carolina. I'm excited about the Virginia part but not so much about the South Carolina part. I just find myself very bored with Ed's family because we have nothing in common. I'll be sure to bring a few books along with me. The one I'm reading now is great but I'll be done with it before Friday, I think.

You know, I'm not really fond of Thanksgiving. I mean, I love the idea of gathering as a family or as friends and feasting and giving thanks for our bounteous blessings but I really wish it were like the Canadian Thanksgiving and held in October instead of late November. When Halloween is over, I'm ready to start listening to Christmas carols and decorating my home and shopping for Christmas gifts, etc. I would love to extend the holiday season to include all of November. Then it wouldn't be such a crazy mad dash to get everything in such a short amount of time. I especially hate it when Thanksgiving is late like last year and this year. My favorite is when it's on the 22nd or 23rd. That's the best.

Joey and I went to the mall after school yesterday. We've discovered this great supersoft fuzzy socks that are so incredible that we just had to go get some more. So we went to the store where they have them and bought 3 prs. each and then I bought a pair for my friend. I'm going to tuck a gift certificate into the socks as a birthday present for her. Then I found another $4 skirt to go with the one I found 10 days ago, or so. I *love* $4 skirts! They're both so cute--I guess they must have been cleaning out everything in their back room because there was an odd assortment of things on this rounder--some really scary and some really cute. Anyway, we got the socks, I got my skirt and Joey and I had a grand time. She is such good company. I love how our relationship has grown and evolved. We can have great conversations and talk on a more adult level and I really love that. I hope we'll be able to continue this as she goes through her teenage years. I'm sure we'll have our blow-ups--what parent and teenager don't?--but I hope that the underlying love and appreciation of each other will endure and override whatever difficulties we may encounter.

Aidan is stirring so I'd better go. Later...


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