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05-28-2002 @ 10:14 p.m.
Lobotomybabe and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day

I could tell when I woke up it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day because I'd only gotten 3.5 hours of sleep. When I went to Joey's room, she said she was sick. She said she had a headache. She said her stomach felt upset. She said she could not go to school.

But you must go to school, said I. Or else you will have to go to school with me. Ok, say she, I'll go with you. But will there be some place to lay down? She was sick, all right. I hate it when she's sick. It's going to be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

Go back to sleep and rest your head. I'll give you a bowl to take to bed. I'm going back to sleep myself. When you wake up, let me know.

To the phone I alight, dialing fast as I can. Stacey, are you free? I need a hand. Joey's sick and I have class that I really can't miss. Final's next week. Whaddaya say? Is it a go? Bring her on over. We'll be fine, she says. You're a pal, I say. Now I'm going back to sleep. This was still looking to be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

But falling back to sleep would be hard because I was worried about my kid. I tried and tried and tried, I did. Finally as I was just nodding off, the phone rang. Drat it! I had just barely fallen asleep and now I was awake again. Shall I call you back later? No bother, said I. I'm awake now. Talk. Talk, I say. It was going to be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

But fall back to sleep, I did. With surprising haste, I add. Then Joey comes in and undoes my deed. What can I eat, mom? She whispers in my ear. Bread. Bread and water. Go, now. Get thee hence, I say. May I play? She asks. Play? Play???? Surely you mean may I read or draw pictures, I say. Yes, you may.

And thrice, I entice my heavy lids to rest and rest and rest. Then horror of horrors, I oversleep. Get dressed. Put on your shoes. Where's my ballcap? We must go! This was going to be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day, I say.

I start getting dressed and look for my clothes when I discover that my cat, in an ill-conceived attempt at communication, has peed on my basket of clean laundry. I hate my cat.

I find a different darkroom shirt and suitable pants and put on my hat because showering is out of the question today.

There are no apricot Clif bars. Only carrot and peanut butter. I hate carrot and peanut butter bars.

I grab my backpack and find it is wet. The cat has struck again. I rush to the sink to wash it off but make a watery mess inside and out. I doubly hate my cat. Anyone want a 14-year-old asthmatic cat that pees on clean laundry and backpacks and stuffed animals? Didn't think so. This is turning out to be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day. I think I'll move to Australia.

I go out to the car and my gas tank is empty. I hate having to stop for gas when I'm already late. I leave the house with no cash so there will be no snacks at school. I hate having no snacks during my 3-hour-long class. I have to take a detour to pick up my negatives at the developer. I hate to take detours when I'm already late.

I drop Joey off and get to school. I'm a half-hour late for class. There are no good enlargers available. Only bad ones. I hate bad enlargers. There are extra people in the dark room taking up the already-at-a-premium space. There is someone sitting on a stool that sticks way out in the walk way and I trip over it going to the chemicals. I hate having unauthorized people in the dark room.

There are no 11x14 easels available to use. Some people are hoarding them, not actually using them, but they won't let me have them. Two other people are using big easels to make small pictures. I hate it when people don't share. I'm having a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day. I'm definitely moving to Australia.

Someone finally shares an easel with me because I almost start crying. I hate it when I cry. I am running out of big paper. I have three sheets to make 2 final prints with. I hate running out of paper. I make a perfect exposure for my print and then discover that there is schmutz on the filter that makes a big white speck on my print. I hate big white specks on my print. I find another filter that is clean and print a picture but when I took the negative out to put in the clean filter, some dust and a fuzzy get on my negative and make specks and curlicues on my print. I hate specks and curlicues on my prints. I throw both prints away. My three hours in the dark room have been totally wasted. I say fuck a lot in the dark room. I hate it when I get mad enough to say fuck. I'm seriously having a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

I gather my things to go and when I go outside to walk to my car, it is raining. Really raining. I have no coat so I walk in the rain. I get very wet in the long walk to the car. The rain makes the traffic very bad and I almost rear-end someone on the freeway. I hate traffic. I pick up Joey, visit with Stacey and then go back in the rain and very bad traffic. This certainly has been a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day. I'm sure it would be much better in Australia.

When we get home, Joey argues about piano practice. I hate arguing about piano practice. And then I remember--my neighbor is making me dinner tonight. I guess it isn't such a bad day after all.

--L

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