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10-19-2001 @ 12:01 p.m.
On Being Grown-ups

Busy day.

Before I could get to the photolab, I got a phone call from DeLyn. She teaches children's music classes and has had some interesting experiences lately. First, last week one of the moms came to class and because her one-year-old was sleeping, she left the child in the car and kept an eye on her through the giant picture window. The car was parked was *right* outside the studio windows--only glass and a sidewalk separated mother and child. Another mother was talking over the music "YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE HER THERE? IN THE CAR? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE HER OUT???" I have no doubt that Karina was being very vigilant in keeping an eye on her daughter. It wasn't a hot day or a cold day--it was just nicely mild. The other mom left the circle and stood over by the window, looking out at the baby, obviously agitated. After a few minutes, she pulled her husband out of the circle and whispered something in his ear. He took their younger child (who was not enrolled in the class) and left. By the end of class (it's a 30 minute class), a police officer had arrived to talk to Karina. He pulled her aside and told her that the baby in the car had been reported and that it was illegal to leave a child in the car (even if you're less than 10 feet away--I'm not sure how that applies to your own driveway) and told her not to do it again.

Karina was humiliated. And the worst part was the way it was handled. If that Loose Cannon Mom had talked to Karina instead of attacking her parenting skills, it would have been solved easily. If she had said "Did you now that it's illegal to leave a child unattended in a car?" I'm sure that Karina would have gotten her out. It was so unnecessary and made everyone uncomfortable.

Then, DeLyn tells me another story. There was a pregnant mom in the class. Both parents came to every class with their daughter. They talked very excitedly about the new baby, told everyone what the gender and name were, and big sister talked every class about the new baby coming to their house. So, Wednesday the baby is born. On Friday morning, the mom calls DeLyn to schedule a make-up class for the one she missed on Thursday. DeLyn asked, naturally, "So how's that little baby doing?" The mother said, "Well, I really don't know. I placed her for adoption."

DeLyn was stunned. This was a baby that was heavily anticipated and wanted and now it's gone. Her only supposition was that the child was born with some kind of defect or problem that was more than the family could handle. She didn't ask.

So now she's worried that when this mom comes back to class, this Loose Cannon Mom will say something like "What? You gave your baby away? Why on earth would you do that??" The other wrinkle to this story is that there is a child with Down's Syndrome in the class. If that's the reason for the adoption, there could be some very difficult, tense, awkward moments there. She was asking me if I thought it would be beyond the bounds of propriety to call the moms and let them know the facts so that they can be sensitive to this mom's situation. I said that since the mom didn't ask her not to say anything and didn't ask to transfer to another class, I didn't see why it would be a problem and given the unpredictable nature of Loose Cannon Mom, it would probably not be a bad idea. Man, I'm so glad it isn't me in that situation.

So after this lengthy conversation, I finally get to go to the lab. I stopped by to pick up my *pristine* negatives that I got developed at a professional lab. It was *so* worth the 24 hours and $3.90 for saving me the hour of frustration and potential for destroying my pictures.

I get so frustrated by how long it takes to get anything done in the lab, though. In 2 hours, I made 2 contact sheets and one print. So depressing. I wish I could spend more time in the lab. I think I need to go on Tuesday and on Thursday or I'm never going to get enough prints done. I'd like to give prints to people for Christmas--some of Joey to grandparents, then a print of my dad shooting pool to my dad, and possibly to my sisters, and I think Cherri might like a print of her 'al fresco' pictures in a frame. That means I gotta get cracking!

I left the lab with exactly enough time to get home for Joey's bus and then I got caught in some construction so I was afraid I'd be late. I called my neighbor as a backup but I made it in the nick of time. In fact, I pulled in to our development just behind the bus. Joey liked that--she hopped in the car with me and I drove her home.

After that, we had a flag etiquette/protocol lesson with the girls from church and I defined the words of the pledge of allegiance for them. It was the first time any of them actually knew what they were saying. After defining the words for them, I rephrased the whole thing in words they could understand.

I took Joey to Baylee's Tae Kwon Do "Parents' Night Out" and then we went to dinner at a nice country restaurant with Baylee's parents. It was very delicious. It was so nice to go to a great restaurant and eat wonderful food, enjoy great conversation, and feel like grown-ups. I liked it very much.

:-)

--L

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