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03-17-2001 @ 04:10:52
June Freaking Cleaver

I love making bread. It is such a luscious and sensuous experience and the whole thing is an exercise in anticipation. I love the smell of the yeast--it is so musty and rich. I love the smooth and elastic texture of the perfect dough as I knead it. Then Ilet it rise. But I can't just let it be-- I have to check it every 10 minutes or so to see if it has doubled. I think about the delicious bread I will have in a few hours. Finally it is time to bake it and the smell of bread fills my home with a warm, heady yeasty, wheaty aroma. The breadmaking experience connects me to my grandmother and her mother, both of whom were known for their delicious bread and butter. It takes me to a place where craftsmanship was expected and appreciated. Where food was basic and delicious and difficult. I make very good bread.

Everyone assumes I use a breadmaker and are shocked to know I make it by hand--that I actually knead my dough and form it into loaves with my own two clean hands. The results are well worth it--I've never tasted a piece of bread machine bread that compares with mine. I know it's not kosher to extol your own virtues but no one else is looking at this so I can be as immodest as I want. :-)

Tonight while Ed played laser tag with Russell and the gang, I came home and made bread. I communed with my grandmothers' spirits while I measured and kneaded and formed and shaped. I made one loaf of bread and then made what are sure to be luscious cinnamon-orange rolls with the other half of the dough. I feel fulfilled.

Today was a good day. I found out yesterday that I got 96% on my A&P lab final--yay! And I found out today that I got 97% on my chem final--double yay! That puts me at 92% for the class going into the group presentations so that means I might actually pull off an A in that class. Now the only thing I have to worry about is statistics. I've got a 92% going into the final so I can get as low as an 88 and still get an A in that class. I hope to get higher. I shouldn't be so obsessed with grades--they don't mean that much. But I've gone 4 terms with a 4.0 and I'd like to keep my unblemished record. Is that vain? I'm just too impressed with myself. Oh well. Things could be worse.

After school, I taught The Girls how to make smoothies. They loved them. The chocolate-peanutbutter-banana didn't go over well. Too much PB not enough chocolate. But the Cranberry Sunset I invented on the spot turned out FAB! The Tropical Blast I invented on the spot turned out delish, too. They are sweet girls and they think I'm really cool. It's nice to be adored. They love it when I lip-sync to 'NSync and Backstreet Boys so I do my best oblige them as often as possible. Most of them have moms who wouldn't be caught dead with a Magic Marker microphone.

Ed's scare last night that he might have to forego our vacation to Hawaii left me cold but he has been admonished by people at work that he shouldn't give up his vacation. Yay--at least there are some people there who speak sense. He has this tendency to think he is freaking indispensible. I know, he calls it being responsible. But I think he overestimates his role there. 'Course I'm not saying nothing--he works and I don't and that lets me have this great life where I can go to school and still go to the mall and shop my ass off so I'm down with that. I just have to kick him now and then and remind him that the company will not go under if he takes a vacation. At dinner, when Ed was saying that he might not accompany us to Hawaii, Joey said "Dad--your work is not your life. Your life is better than that." Rather perspicacious for a seven year old, no? The child speaks wisdom. She amazes me on a daily basis.

I can smell my cinnamon rolls. When Ed gets home from playing tag, he'll be greeted with that incredible yeasty-cinnamony scent. He'll be so delighted. I'm June Freakin' Cleaver.

What has come over me? I've been in the mood to be domestic. I might as well go out and buy a fat pearl choker and a shirtwaist dress. Oh Ward.... I've been cooking a lot--actual meals with vegetables and made from recipes. I've even been sorta planning them. Sunday--get this--I made bread, cooked corned beef, cabbage and potatoes in my crockpot while we were at church and then later in the evening, made chocolate sauce from sweetened condensed milk and chocolate chips with a hit of brandy. *Then* I made crepes and put the chocolate sauce inside and rolled them up, dusted with cocoa powder and served them to Ed (and me, of course). They were *great*! I've just totally been in the mood to cook and do all that domestic stuff. I think it is directly proportional to how much stress I've been feeling at school--avoidance perhaps? Or maybe I'm just letting that culinary genie out of the bottle I keep her stopped up in except for parties and company dinners. I've always maintained that I love cooking as an event (meaning that it has entertaining attached to it) but hate cooking as maintenance. I love impressing guests with my culinary skills. But you know what? I like impressing Ed with my culinary skills, too. He has gotten better about appreciating my efforts and Joey eats almost everything I make. She has an amazing palate. I don't know another seven year old who eats the stuff she eats--sushi, pesto pasta, roasted garlic, soy sauce eggs, etc. etc. She eschews macaroni and cheese (informed me she never wants to eat it again) and PBJ but goes for the gyoza. That's my girl!

I guess I've rambled enough tonight. I like this. I shoulda started this diary a *long* time ago!

Ciao!

--Lobotomy Babe

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